...a whisper instead of a shout...a gentle touch instead of a punch...persuasion instead of force ...patience instead of a knee-jerk reaction. All this is only possible with confidence.
Confidence because you know who you are, what you like, and you make no excuses for being you. You don't hide from your own beauty.
When you receive a compliment, you say, "Thank you!"
No false modesty, no insecurity, no apologies because there is only one you and you celebrate that uniqueness.
Acknowledge the unique in you and celebrate it daily.
At first, I thought that the response to that question would be easy...then it dawned on me.
- Being a woman is not easy
From the innocent choices of blue versus pink, dolls versus baseball mitts and bats, distinctions are made and expectations set in stone. At least it seems that way. Little girls grow up to be women and along the way, very subtly, a running list of expectations begin to bloom.
Maybe the expectation is that they are meant to be soft spoken, to be a size 0, drive a certain kind of car, live in a specific neighborhood etc. As the years pass, more and more expectations are added. Maybe from a commercial, a magazine, a comment from a friend, and as certain as those small suggestions seep into our psyche, we begin to believe them. We begin to hide our arms, we begin to complain about our midsection, we dress in all black.
We didn't lose our confidence, we just stopped hearing ourselves amid the noise that we picked up along the way. It's true that we are more than the sum of our parts. We are more than the voices that overwhelm us day in and day out. There is no one else quite like you, with the life you have lived, the people you have loved, the choices you have made...you are unique. Pick up the doll, the bat and mitt...anything that makes you feel good. You have lived a life...go ahead and LIVE some more.
What'll it be today? Paisley?
Something supernatural happens when you become a mother. Now this doesn’t happen to all women and it certainly isn’t “super” in the sense that it is wonderful. Actually, it is quite tragic. And I can guarantee that there is a high percentage of women that say “That won’t be me!” but then it becomes them.
Simply put, we forget to be kind to ourselves.
Once that baby is placed in your arms, nothing else in this world matters more to you then that precious cargo of unadulterated, unconditional love that stares you in the eyes and says, “Yep, I will love you no matter what”.
Yes, that’s true, but you need to love you too.
Years go by and I’ve gained some weight and have been wearing some unflattering clothes. Why? Because I do what many mothers do. I don’t invest in great quality clothes now because I am planning to lose weight. That would be a waste of money, right? In the meantime, I look like a reject from a Wal-Mart print ad and feel so worthless, that I stopped the quest of losing weight. It’s a psychological merry-go-round that’s anything but merry. And the years are flying at such an incredible pace! That baby is going to high school now!
What happened? We forgot to be kind to ourselves.
I stepped into J&J Sisters and honestly, I was a bit intimidated. The clothes and accessories are super cute but there was no way I could “look like that” or “fit this”! Seriously, who was I kidding? I was handed a blouse and told to put it on. That blouse fell in all the right places. It hid the rolls but not like a 1950’s house dress. It gave my curvaceous figure a healthy look. Additionally, this blouse was tailored in such a way that I could wear the same blouse if I was 20-25 lbs. lighter. I’m seeing a win-win situation here.
Not feeling judged, nor daunted I asked, “Any more like this?” For the first time, I can see myself wearing boutique clothes that doesn’t scream, “Poured into! Wearing a titanium girdle!!”
The fabric felt delicious to the touch and I felt like I arrived. I was being kind to myself and it feels supernatural!